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Review
“A godsend to the many divorcées who are bashed by their ex-spouses.” (Publishers Weekly)“Divorce Poison is a must read for every parent involved in a hostile divorce.” (Dr. John W. Santrock, professor of psychology, University of Texas at Dallas)“With the wisdom and insight of years of professional experience, Dr. Richard A. Warshak shows parents how to avoid the painful repercussions that result when a child becomes the pawn of parental conflicts. If you’re divorced and you love your child, read this book!” (Constance R. Ahrons, Ph.D., senior scholar Council on Contemporary Families, and author of The Good Divorce)“An absolute must-read for any parent going through a divorce. Warshak lays bare the evils of parental alienation and gives readers the knowledge they need to defend themselves—and their children—against it.” (Armin Brott, author of The Expentant Father and The Single Father)“A breakthrough book. . . . Original, well-written, balanced, and filled with insights, it is perfect for any parent who has been the victim of bad-mouthing.” (Warren Farrell, Ph.D., author of Father and Child Reunion and Why Men Are the Way They Are)“Divorce Poison is destined to become a classic. Dr. Warshak’s sympathy for mothers, fathers, and relatives struggling to maintain their children’s affection is outweighed only by his compassion for the children themselves.” (Michael Gurian, author of The Wonder of Boys)“This book is a testament to Dr. Warshak’s vast experience, erudition, and deep commitment to the prevention, diagnosis, and treatment of the various categories of alienated children.” (Richard A. Gardner, M. D., clinical professor of child psychiatry, Columbia University College of Physicians and Surgeons, author of The Parental Alienation Syndrome)“Offers valuable advice, especially for those times when the going gets tough with your ex. It also helps you understand and heal your own hurts without hurting the children you love.” (Susan Jeffers, Ph.D., author of Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway and I'm Okay . . . You're a Brat!)“Always painful, divorce can turn lethal when one parent attempts to poison the children against an ex-spouse. In this balanced, compassionate book, Richard Warshak offers vital advice to those caught in the emotional maelstrom of a bitter divorce.” (Mark Pendergrast, author of Victims of Memory)
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From the Back Cover
Your ex-spouse is bad mouthing you to your children, constantly portraying you in a negative light, perhaps even trying to turn them against you. If you handle the situation ineffectively, your relationship with your children could suffer. You could lose their respect, lose their affections-even, in extreme cases, lose all contact with them. The conventional advice is to do nothing, that fighting fire with fire will only result in greater injury to the children. But after years of consulting parents who heeded such advice with no success, Dr. Richard Warshak is convinced that this approach is wrong. It doesn't work, and parents are left feeling helpless and hopeless. DIVORCE POISON instead offers a blueprint for effective response. In it, you will learn how to distinguish different types of criticism, how and why parents manipulate their children, how to detect these maneuvers, and how these practices damage children. Most importantly, you'll discover powerful strategies to preserve and rebuild loving relationships with your children.DIVORCE POISON is a time-tested work that gives parents powerful strategies to preserve and rebuild loving relationships with their children-and provides practical advice from legal and mental-health professionals to help their clients and safeguard the welfare of children. Whether they are perpetrators of divorce poison, victims of it, or both, parents who heed Dr. Warshak's advice will enable their children to maintain love and respect for their parents-even if their parents no longer love and respect each other.
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Product details
Paperback: 352 pages
Publisher: William Morrow Paperbacks; Revised ed. edition (January 19, 2010)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0061863262
ISBN-13: 978-0061863264
Product Dimensions:
6.1 x 0.9 x 9.2 inches
Shipping Weight: 1.4 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.8 out of 5 stars
415 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#27,478 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
While the symptoms and effects of alienation on children and the relationship worth the target parenbt are adequately explored, I fear that Dr. Warshak either fails to grasp or dangerously downplays the motivations of alienators, particularly those whip had been abusive to their spouse/ target parent. Most of these individuals engage not only in verbal, emotional, and even physical abuse, but are also the driving force behind high conflict divorces -- populations well known to have high rates of NPD, BPD, ASPD, etc. These are NOT people to whom a target parent should be encouraged to apologize! Perhaps in some cases alienating parents are simply good people doing bad things, but for too many of us, alienation is continuation of domestic abuse, by proxy through the children and courts.
I actually ordered this book in 2003...yes, you read that correctly! My kids are all grown up now and doing their own thing (college, etc). The reason I am writing this review is during that very 'ugly' time in my life I actually read many, many books and this one is the ONLY one I have EVER talked about and recommended to anyone. I still reference it today to friends that are going through similar situations. It's a really great book..but you definitely need an open mind to realize that you are probably committing many of these things that are pointed out. It's tough love but worth it. The VERY great news is that both of my children are happy and productive members of society.
I am a Social Worker who works with abused children. False abuse allegations are not a surprise in my field of work. Majority of the cases I work with, children do not indulge into trivial or "even ridicules" as Dr. Warshak defines it in his book, hate campaign against a parent. In fact the abused children I work with who are truly abused rarely reject the parent who abuses them. They want relationships with that parent, they want to see him or her and they truly love that parent. In cases of Parental Alienation - with or without false allegations- the reality is completely different. Dr. Warshak describes these cases in his book as the "the nuclear weapons" of custody litigation. Unfortunately, many mental health professionals who work with families fail to recognize the difference between true abuse and irrational alienation, and thus more training, education and research is needed in the field to provide helping professionals with more tools on how to recognize, differentiate and treat parental alienation. I am also a parent who witnessed and experienced parental alienation or as Dr. Warshak defines it in this book "pathological alienation". The damage that is has done to my step-child is irreversible but there is hope. In this book Dr. Wrashak presents many ways on how to counteract Parental Alienation. He articulates "actions" such as self -restrain: self control against wanting to "lash-out" in the face of kids' rude and hateful behavior; maintaining contact: even when the kids complain and refuse Dr. Warshak doesn't recommend for parents to cease contact voluntarily - continue to exercise your rights and see your children regardless; developing a thick skin is another good action to consider to survive a campaign of hatred: Dr. Warshak articulates that one "must learn to withstand high levels of verbal aggression and provocative behaviors". This book is full of real life case examples that gives you chills when you read it because you can relate on so many levels.I highly recommend the book to all helping professionals and parents who are living the nightmare of parental alienation. This is the best book out there on the parental alienation topic and will be an eye-opener for anyone who is going through divorce, or went though divorce or treating families of divorce.
This book is fantastic. If you are struggling with an ex who bashes you to your child and brainwashes your child against you, this book is for you! If you feel your child is pulling away from you, and you feel helpless against it, read this book. Divorce Poison explains parental alienation in such detail. It helped me understand how it happens and why, and gives insight into the correct way to handle it. Whether you're in the beginning stages or deep in the trenches, it has tips for breaking the cycle and preventing the further deterioration of your relationship. If you are like me , and your relationship is completely severed already, this book gives you tools to try and reconnect with your lost child along with hope that you may one day have them back in your life. I highly recommend this book.
Divorce can be an ugly thing--especially when kids are involved. And even more so when one of the parents vindictively trashes the other and basically brainwashes the child(ren) into rejecting that parent (and often members of that parent"s family). The process and the result are called alienation, and it is a very real thing that is unhealthy and painful for everyone involved.This book is an excellent review of alienation and how to deal with it. Results are not guaranteed, but the book does provide a good roadmap for recognizing it and trying to counteract it.If you or a loved one is dealing with alienated children, this book is an excellent reference
An education about brainwashing/programming, of children inflicted by a vengeful parent! I saw it happening but this book identified and explained what was happening to these innocent trusting children. It is called, Parental Alienation Syndrome. A must have book for anyone involved in any stage of divorce with children. The book explains various levels of cooperation and misunderstandings that happen between divorcing/divorced parents but are resolved by parents making an effort of normalcy for their children. It also goes on to talk about the abusive efforts of many parents to hurt and control by using their children as weapons. They manipulate and destroy their children's trust, sense of reality, and joy. It is diabolical. This book addresses families, the court system and ways to go forward and help heal children and families.
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